Awaken
by AnonymousLily
Summary: Complete. What if Robert isn't dead? Thanks to Upeasterner for the Normandy reference in Chapter 3- see her "Death."
1. Chapter 1

Candy had been looking for Jonathon for the past half hour, and finally found him by the rocks at the shore yelling, "Reef the sails; the wind's too high! Midshipman Scruffy, stop that and get to work!" The dog, excited by all the yelling, was barking and turning in circles, attempting to grab his own tail.

Giggling, she leaned against a tall rock and called, "Hey Captain Shorty, Admiral Candy needs a word with you!"

Jonathon sighed energetically. "Stand down, men! What do you want?"

"Mom's birthday is coming up. I have a bit saved, but not much, and I bet you don't have a lot either. I was thinking we could pool our money and get her something nicer."

Jonathon crossed his arms. "I already got a present all picked out, a necklace."

Candy snorted. "After the captain got Claymore to get her that pearl necklace, you're going to give her one too?"

"It has little flowers in pink and red. It's prettier than boring old pearls."

Candy narrowed her eyes. "What are the flowers made of?"

Jonathon turned red. "It's blasted plastic! Now you're gonna tell me it's not good enough! What do you want to get her anyway? Another blasted pen set?"

Candy sat down in the sand. "Martha always says to get a useful gift, but the captain just told me the best gifts have something of the giver in them."

Jonathon dropped in the sand beside her, draping his arm around a squirming Scruffy. "He doesn't mean to give something with little bits of us. He means something she'd like that we really like too."

Candy rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Professor Jonathon. I knew what he meant. I figured we could go in together and get her something nice like a jewelry box."

Jonathon released Scruffy to go bark at the seagulls. "I don't like jewelry boxes."

"You like plastic flowers better? I'm not talking about a jewelry box like mine with a spinning ballerina. I mean a nice wooden box that we could decorate, maybe paint nautical stuff on it or something."

Jonathon looked interested. "Maybe we could glue a picture of a schooner on top and shells on the side!"

"Better than a pen set or a cheap necklace, huh?"

* * *

Martha removed the brownies from the oven and returned to chopping an onion. The captain materialized, snatched a brownie, and tossed it hand to hand until it was cool enough to eat. With her back turned to him, Martha said, "I don't know how many times I've called you, but I knew brownies would bring you here."

He grinned evilly. "Just as I know if I ignore your calls for me, some delicious baked goods will soon follow."

Martha turned around, eyes watering. "So that's it! Sweet tooth trumps everything!"

The captain looked concerned. "Please don't cry, Martha. I'll come as soon as you call next time."

Martha chuckled. "Onions, Captain, not hurt feelings. I just wanted to let you know Carolyn's birthday is coming up."

"You thought I'd forgotten her birthday?"

Martha shrugged. "You don't even remember your own birthday!"

"Be that as it may, her birthday I've etched in my memory."

"So what are you getting her?"

"Something of a personal nature."

"I baked brownies for this? You'd sound a lot more forbidding if you didn't have crumbs in your beard."

"I've never understood the feminine need to pry. What are you getting her?"

Martha folded her arms. "Aside from planning and making the birthday meal and cake, making sure the kids are presentable, and already having convinced her parents not to spring a surprise visit on her, I'm giving her a paperweight."

"You're a paragon among friends and housekeepers. Among other things, I plan on giving her a carved sandalwood fan."

"Well, if you need to dust it off, there's rags in the pantry."

* * *

The captain tugged his ear as Jonathon and Candy showed him the wooden box and attempted to out-shout each other with their plans. He rumbled, "One at a time!"

The children glanced at each other and Jonathon muttered, "Ladies first I guess."

Candy said, "I think we should swirl paint of different colors of blue like the sea all over it and then glue a single white shell on the lid."

Jonathon handed him the box and explained, "I think we should glue a tiny model ship on the lid and glue shells all over the sides."

The captain examined the box. "The wood appears highly porous, thus difficult to paint evenly. Perhaps blue fabric tacked on the inside and shells on the outside would be most pleasing to the eye."

Jonathon wistfully asked, "No ship on the lid?"

Candy companionably bumped him. "No paint either. Remember you agreed to go by what he decided. What are you giving her, Captain?"

"An antique fan, among other things. And you're welcome."

Both children giggled and said, "Thank you!"

Jonathon added, "This is gonna be the best jewelry box anyone ever got!"


	2. Chapter 2

The captain decided he wouldn't wrap the silk and brocade kimono, but present it unwrapped, telling her the tale of how he obtained it. Perhaps she could wear it as a robe, despite the floor length sleeves. He hoped she didn't ask WHY he had gotten it, as it had been meant for Vanessa all those years ago.

There was a tap on the door, and he hid the gift under some charts and called, "Come in!" Martha entered, looking around curiously. He said, "Martha, what a surprise! You never come up to the wheelhouse!"

She sat on the sofa, took a deep breath, and said, "I wanted to be the first to tell you- so you'd have time to prepare yourself before she does. Robert's been found alive. Apparently his body had been misidentified."

The captain closed his eyes for a moment, then sat beside her and demanded, "Tell me what you know of this!"

"An old friend of his saw him working as a gas station attendant in Chicago. Robert didn't even recognize him. Apparently he remembers nothing from before the explosion- some kind of head injury or amnesia. He's been working with doctors and police for years trying to find his identity. Carolyn's been on the phone nonstop for the last few hours."

The captain just stared into the distance. "Of course she'll go to him."

Martha nodded. "I think so. I'm probably meddling, but she's a basket case at the moment. I just thought you should know before she tells you."

The captain clenched his jaw. "Thank you, Martha. Now, if you don't mind, I have some work to do." Martha stood up to leave, stopping for a moment to glance at his stony face. She opened her mouth to speak, but said nothing. She left him then, in his sanctuary.

* * *

Later there was another tap at the door. "Come in!"

She entered hesitantly, her eyes red. "Daniel, there's been some unexpected news."

He gestured for her to sit on the sofa. "Martha told me. What splendid news for you and the children!"

She could see the effort it took for him to smile. She bit her lip. "Just in time for my blasted birthday."

His smile become crooked and real. "Language, madam. Our time together has been most precious to me, but both of us acted in ignorance. Neither of us intended any dishonor."

She gestured for him to join her on the sofa. He did, maintaining a careful distance. "You'd make this a lot easier if you weren't so blasted noble and would just get angry!"

"With whom or what? You? Your husband? Fate?"

She took his hand and brushed her lips against his knuckles. "Fate, that's what I'm angry with! I confess a terrible storm would suit me perfectly!"

He gently pulled his hand away and stood up. "Mrs. Muir, you're not yourself at the moment, understandably. May I ask your plans?"

"I'm going to Chicago tomorrow. His doctors want to speak to me before I see him."

"Are you taking the children?"

"No. There will be difficult changes soon enough without disrupting school. I'd like them home with family . . . I mean home with familiar surroundings and people. I suppose I better say goodnight now?" She hesitated by the door.

He nodded. "God speed. All my best wishes are with you."


	3. Chapter 3

Carolyn briskly walked into the doctor's personal office. A tall man stood as she entered and asked, "Carolyn?"

She smiled with relief. "You know me! The doctors said you probably wouldn't!"

"I knew you were arriving is all. Imagine discovering I have a wife and children! They didn't tell me how pretty you were."

She gingerly hugged him. "You've lost weight."

"Probably missed your cooking."

She grinned weakly. "Probably you missed Martha's cooking. She's our housekeeper."

He sat down and gestured for her to sit across from him. "I suspect this is as awkward for you as it is for me. You'll have to forgive me for all things I don't know."

"We'll probably both have a lot to forgive, Bobby. The doctors told me you woke up in a hospital with no idea who you were and no identification."

"Probably robbed. I've been going by the name of Paul Lincoln, so you might have to say Bobby a few times before you get my attention. So, tell me about our life together. That's what the doctors want since the sight of you didn't bring my memory back, right?"

"Right. We met in college but didn't really become friends. Then in our senior year, you jokingly threw yourself on my mercy to attend your cousin Sam's wedding. You told me you didn't want the girl you were dating to see what your family was like. I taught you to dance that night, and we clicked. We married about a year later."

Bobby laughed. "I met my parents last night. If my father is any indication, my worries may have been warranted. So I'm a good dancer?"

Carolyn grinned. "You're an enthusiastic dancer. I used to tease you that I needed to find steel toe pumps to dance with you."

She continued to recreate the past for this friendly stranger who wore Bobby's face.

* * *

The captain entered the children's room to tuck them in, conscious that this too would be taken from him. Candy was all smiles, chattering away about her dad while Jonathon scowled. She ended with, "I can't wait to see him!"

Jonathon reached out to hold the captain's hand and whispered, "I don't even remember him. Would you come with me when I have to meet him and teach him stuff about ships so he knows?"

The captain squeezed his hand. "Lad, even if you don't remember him, there's a blood tie that can't be undone. A man who has such fine children as you two must be a good man. He'll know other things to teach you, and I'm sure they'll be good things too."

Candy said, "I bet he'll love Gull Cottage!"

The captain tugged his ear as Jonathon chimed in with "I'll be fine as long as you're with us, Captain!"

He kissed them both on the forehead and exited, wishing them good dreams. He stood there, fists clenched. He was trying to visualize happily living with the Muir family, but all he could imagine was himself watching her and her husband entering the master cabin and shutting the door behind them. Not even for her sake or the lad's could he weather that.

* * *

The next day Carolyn met Bobby's parents for breakfast. His father seemed to believe he only needed to send him back to college and then everything would be the same as it was before. His mother had circles under her eyes. The two of them went to the ladies' room and cried together over the task of trying to find their Bobby in Paul Lincoln.

She then prepared herself for another long day of reminding him of things he didn't know, and learning things about him that seemed distinctly un-Bobby like, such as not liking dogs or travel. The hoped for recall hadn't happened yet, but the doctors counseled patience. They had informed her that maybe he would regain his memory, and maybe he wouldn't. Fate seemed to enjoy knocking her down every time she thought she'd found her niche in the world.

* * *

Martha poured two shots of whisky, cut two fat slices of raspberry cheesecake, and called the captain into the kitchen. He materialized looking distinctly rumpled- even his hair wildly sticking up in curls. "Yes Martha?"

"The kids went to see a movie with Linda. I thought we both could stand a sliver of cake and a stiff drink."

"I seem to have lost my sweet tooth, but sharing a drink with a friend would be most welcome. Have you spoken to her?"

They sat at the kitchen table. "Yes. She sends her love to everyone here."

He smiled crookedly for a moment. "How is she?"

Martha pulled the second plate of cheesecake in front of herself. "Waste not, want not. She sounded about as well as can be expected. How about you, Captain? How are you doing?"

"As well as can be expected."

Martha said, "I have pretty broad shoulders if you need one."

"I doubt one of your shoulders could bear the weight of an eternity without her. In the past year, I had wondered if I'd been left here as a ghost simply to be with her, perhaps a type of heaven. Now I suspect punishment for misdeeds while I was alive."

Both drank their shots. "More, Captain?"

"No more, lest I become more maudlin than I am now."

"Did you know I've been married twice?"

He looked at her, startled. "No, I was unaware."

"My first husband, Clyde, oh he was something. We fought a lot, but then we did an awful lot of making up too. He died at Normandy. I was so lonely for him. I married Joe then. You'll probably think I'm a scarlet woman, but we divorced within the year. Ed hints about marriage once in awhile, but I pretend I don't hear him. He's nice enough, good company, but he's no Clyde. No one ever could be."

The captain looked annoyed. "So, by analogy, Carolyn's marriage was perfect while her relationship with me was a matter of loneliness and propinquity?"

Martha poured herself another shot. "That's not what I'm saying. I started working for the Muir family right after Jonathon was born- a difficult birth. Bobby's a nice guy, and he and Carolyn were content, but I had never seen her glow until we moved here. I thought the beach was some sort of magic for her until I met you and put two and two together."

The captain bitterly shook his head. "You would have me attempt to cuckold her husband?"

Martha gulped more whisky. "No, but I wouldn't let her go quite so easily either."

The captain began pacing. "A marriage vow is just that, a vow, in sickness or in health, til death. It's precisely because I care for her so much that I must let her go, even at the cost of my happiness, possibly at the cost of hers. Martha, I know she loves me. To throw aside what's right for personal gain is never an option." He dematerialized as a storm arose.

Martha reached for the bottle, mumbling, "Personally, I vote for happiness."


	4. Chapter 4

Bobby held the chair out for her at the restaurant. She raised an eyebrow and sat. "Let me guess, I never held doors open for you either?"

She grinned. "Not unless your boss or father was with us."

He sat down then. "It sounds like I was a bit of a shit."

"That's a terrible thing to say! You weren't! You just tended to be oblivious about things like that unless we were in a formal situation."

"Oblivious, huh? I'm not sure I like the guy I was. Everything on a silver platter, but manners are free. He, or I mean I, didn't seem to try very hard."

"It's so odd to be defending you to you. Do me a favor and don't knock my Bobby, okay?"

"Well, chalk up a point to him for marrying you. What's 'du jour?'"

"Du jour?"

"Soup du jour?"

"Oh. Soup of the day. You always liked steak with mushrooms in restaurants."

"I liked mushrooms? Hmmm. Oh, in case you're wondering why we're eating here, Father slipped me a wad of cash and suggested this place, so I seem to be getting things on a silver platter too. Oh yeah, happy birthday, thanks to Ralph. I usually eat on the cheap. Did we eat at restaurants like this often?"

"Not this upscale. We usually only ate at restaurants like this to celebrate- my birthday or our anniversary. Once a week we'd go out to eat though, someplace toddler friendly and much cheaper. We usually went out on Sundays- Martha always took the weekend off and would make something to heat up on Saturday."

He grinned. "Wow. You really can't cook, can you?"

They talked throughout the meal. Sometimes, just for a moment, it was like the old days, but then she'd be bumped back to reality by some statement or criticism of his. After dinner, he walked her back to her hotel room. She kissed him on the cheek at her door. He said, "For me, that's our first kiss." He pulled her toward him and said, "Let's do it right." In his arms, he seemed like her Bobby again. She had forgotten how gentle, how careful he was- nothing like the fierce intensity of Daniel.

He left then. It seemed like a date from before they were married, goodnight kiss and all. Selfishly, unreasonably, she wanted to call Daniel and curl up in his arms and sleep for a few hundred years. She wouldn't of course, mainly because he was off limits to her now.

* * *

It was wrong. He knew it was wrong, but there'd be no harm done except to himself. He just needed to see the cut of her husband's jib, even though he knew beforehand he'd judge the man as unworthy of her.

He materialized- invisibly- to the room she was in, something he could always do across any distance with her. He was in a candlelit restaurant, soft music and the hum of patrons' voices surrounding him. At least the man had style. He saw them, Carolyn sitting across from a blandly handsome man, the type who appeared on the cover of modern clothing catalogs. Surely no one would look at this man and think 'magnificent.'

They were clearly matched in era though: their garb, a certain softness which could only be attractive in the female of the species.

He moved closer to eavesdrop, needing to know how they addressed one another, what they discussed. He was saying, "I really would enjoy working with cars, not just as an attendant. Father wants me to go back to school and relearn architecture, but I'd prefer some sort of auto mechanic course. I just hate to say anything when he's trying to be helpful."

She nodded. "He always liked to decide things- but you stood up to him before. He wanted you to study business. Just tell him. Yes, he'll be disappointed, but having you back more than makes up for it."

They were planning their future in the face of obstacles like any happily married couple. They used no endearments, though. It was foolish to desire to know what endearments they used, if any. Also, as they spoke, they frequently glanced away from each other. He knew when he spoke with her, and sometimes when he wasn't, he couldn't help but watch her. She'd glance away from him sometimes, usually when she seemed overcome by emotion, but this wasn't one of those stormy discussions. Martha and her blasted opinions had influenced him more than he intended.

He wondered if he could will himself out of this existence, something he'd never considered. He returned home.


	5. Chapter 5

Carolyn sat on the hotel bed, determinedly balancing her checkbook, something much more useful to do than thinking about Daniel and Bobby. She was shocked by the balance. She certainly couldn't afford to stay in Chicago indefinitely. She hadn't seen Bobby's apartment yet, and it would be too disconcerting to stay there and spend that much time with him.

The rent for Gull Cottage would be due soon. She needed to get home and get to work writing. Bobby's father Ralph would probably be willing to loan her some money, but there'd be too many strings attached.

She wished she could talk to Daniel, really talk to him about her confusion and hear the certainty in his voice about what needed to be done. If only they could have legally married before Bobby popped back to life. Death was so blasted inconvenient. She swallowed a maniacal laugh when she realized how inane her thoughts were becoming. It was like accepting the awful logic of a nightmare.

* * *

The captain dreamt. Ghosts don't usually dream because a ghost's existence is so dreamlike, but he was different, too earthy, too willful to exist in that fog-like state of unreality. His will and desire were waning though, so he dreamt.

He dreamt of the gypsy woman he'd gone to see as a young man, pretending he wanted his fortune told when his intentions were of a more amorous nature. Instead of that beautiful and exotic woman though, it was suddenly Martha who beckoned him into the caravan, telling him she'd decided to marry Ed after all.

She pointed to a crystal ball and within it he could see a small ship battered by a storm, taking on water, waves washing over the deck. He watched, dreading its inevitable sinking.

Then he was being shaken awake. He opened his eyes, Candy standing there in her Snoopy nightgown. He was in the master cabin, had actually fallen asleep in their bed, no, his bed. He groggily peered at Carolyn's alarm clock- one a.m.

"What ails you, lass? Stomach ache? Bad dreams?"

She rubbed her eyes. "I just figured out what us having Dad again will mean to you. I guess . . . I guess I'm sorry I was so happy."

Alive, he been able to immediately awaken, clear headed, but the nightmare lingered. He sat up, hoping to clear his mind. He searched for the right words. "There's no need for apologies. It's natural for you to be happy about having your father again after missing him for so long."

"Jonathon's just a kid; I don't think he knows you were Mom's boyfriend. I'm just sorry is all."

The captain fervently wished to end the discussion without hurting her feelings. He had no words of comfort or wisdom at the moment, still seeing that sinking ship from his dream. "Very kind of you. Off to bed now; we can't have you nodding off at school."

She left, and he lay his head back on Carolyn's pillow, the faint scent of her shampoo lingering on it.


	6. Chapter 6

She and Bobby were sitting on a park bench, the cold wind blowing off the lake. He asked, "What happened to that fisherman my parents met at your place?"

Confused for a moment, she then remembered her father-in-law worrying about the lack of masculine influence in Jonathon's life. Daniel had groomed Claymore to appear as the man in her life, a faux Captain Gregg. This was one conversation she dreaded, discussing Daniel or faux versions of him with her husband. "He's still around."

"I'm not angry about you dating. You thought I was gone."

"I'm glad you understand."

"At least I know things didn't go very far, otherwise you would have married him." If the captain had been present, he would have noticed the way the two avoided looking at each other.

"He has no birth certificate."

"What?"

"You need a birth certificate to get a marriage license."

"Yeah, I know about that. Listen, Carolyn, the guy sounds like a real Don Juan, supposedly not having a birth certificate, maybe making you his mistress?"

Her eyes flashed, and she glared at him. "He wasn't, and don't say another word against him!"

Bobby grinned. "Good."

"Good?"

"I thought finding out who I really was would be wonderful. Instead, I had to go home and tell Fay I was a married man with two kids."

"Fay?"

"I couldn't get married without a birth certificate."

Carolyn laughed, bordering on the hysterical. "My wife is relieved I have a common-law spouse? What a strange life we lead."

"So where does that leave us?"

"With an unintentionally open marriage? I think a friendly divorce would suit all concerned. I would like to meet and visit with my kids- if that's not too over the top."

* * *

She dropped her suitcase in the hall and ran up the stairs. Martha looked out from the living room, shrugged, and returned to folding laundry.

He was standing grimly in the master cabin, arms crossed, not fully opaque. She breathlessly said, "Daniel, you look terrible!"

"Thank you, madam. A more formal mode of address would be appropriate, given the circumstances."

"Right. Okay, _Captain Gregg_, Bobby and I are divorcing so he can marry Fay!"

"The blackguard! He ought to be flogged!" His form seemed to take on more substance, no sunlight shining through him now.

"Don't be like that! It's also for our sake. He and Fay will visit next week to see the children and discuss what would be best for them. You'll be part of that discussion- if you want to be."

He unfolded his arms, barely refraining from smiling. 'A divorced woman? My dear, that's shocking!"

"He seemed to think you were a bit of a Don Juan for not marrying me. Terribly shocking too, wouldn't you say? Daniel, are you crying?"

He kissed her then, enfolding her in his strong arms tightly. She felt his tears on her face, or maybe they were her own.


	7. Chapter 7

The white curtains fluttered in the breeze. Curled up in his arms but aware the kids would be home from school soon, she knew she needed to get out of bed and face the difficult task of explaining the divorce to them. Still, she couldn't help demanding, "Why on earth did you let me go in the first place?"

His fingers stopped tracing lazy patterns on her skin. "LET you go? Has it escaped your notice that I rarely forbid or insist on anything anymore? I've learnt over time the best way to ensure an action on your part is to promote its opposite. My dear, if you were on board a ship, you'd face a court martial for disobeying your captain!"

Carolyn smothered a laugh, relieved. "Reverse psychology? You were so determined I leave without discussion, without even a hug- calling me Mrs. Muir as though we were strangers! So it was all an act?" He kissed her shoulder, not answering. "Daniel?"

She felt his lips against her ear. "Truthfully? No act. I meant to lend you what strength you required to go to him. Dying was somewhat easier. Now then, as much as I hate to end this moment, do you intend we remain here until the children arrive?"

* * *

Martha had baked a belated birthday cake, hoping a celebration might soften the blow a bit for Candy. The children took the news differently- Jonathon gleefully, Candy, wistfully.

After the cake, Carolyn opened the gift from Martha, a paper weight shaped like an anchor. Martha dryly explained, "We seem to get more sudden squalls here than any other house in Schooner Bay. I figured this would be useful since you work with the window open."

The captain mock growled, "What are you implying?"

"Just that ironing rain-soaked pages while others make up is not my idea of fun."

Carolyn interrupted them, " It's perfect! Thanks!"

She opened the gift from the children next, which required the removal of enormous quantities of tape from the wrapping. "What a charming box! I've never seen one with shells like this."

Jonathon corrected her, "A charming _jewelry_ box! Me and Candy made it!"

Candy sighed and corrected him. "We didn't make the box- we just decorated it. Open it, Mom."

"Blue and green tie-dye lining! Wow, that's lovely!"

The captain meaningfully added, "Just like the sea."

"Oh my goodness, you're right! Well, this jewelry box will be reserved for my best pieces only- the pearls and Grandmother's earrings."

Finally, she opened the fan from the captain, its faint sandalwood essence reminding her of the captain's scent. "It's so elegant and smells so good - perfect for a hot day, Daniel."

Jonathon wiggled and asked, "So which present do you like best?"

Candy elbowed him while Carolyn refrained from saying Bobby's gift of a divorce. Instead she replied, "Just being here together as a family as well as knowing your father is alive and happy." She saw how crestfallen Jonathon looked and added, "This jewelry box is the most unique birthday gift I've ever gotten."

* * *

Later she took the children upstairs to tuck them in while the captain and Martha companionably helped themselves to more cake. He told her, "I can't imagine Robert preferring another woman to Carolyn. I'm highly grateful, but the man must be mad."

"Probably Bobby's intended can't imagine Carolyn preferring you, either. For every foot, there's a shoe that fits."

The captain dryly replied, "How romantic."

"Speaking of romance, Captain, has Carolyn ever seen the way you wolf down sweets?"

"She has no complaints." Martha grinned and began humming "Stormy Weather." "Am I supposed to recognize every modern tune to understand your meaning?"

"I always enjoyed making up with Clyde back in the day. Why don't you go upstairs and give her whatever top secret birthday gifts you have in reserve?"

"Martha?"

"Yeah?"

He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you."


End file.
